Oct 6, 2009

For Him

I am a human pacifier.

I have never been a great nurser. I have never enjoyed nursing. I am a bad judge at whether the little one is hungry or just working me. Alas, I think I am easily worked. For it can be recorded that I am sleeping less now than when he was a couple of months old.

Blame it on "teething". Blame it on his lingering cough. Blame it on one too many fall-asleep-40-minute-nursing sessions. Blame it on my soft pushover heart. Blame it on my exhaustion. Blame it on my lack of discipline this time around.

I will become the boss eventually, and then perhaps I will sleep again.


JasonDebbie said...

I had the same thing happen to me with mckenna--she just wanted me for comfort as a pacifier. Especially at then end, she wouldnt take real pacifiers, so I was her only comfort and would be nursing like every hour just to make not whine. I was a pushover for my youngest baby too, so I understand.:)

Stockhoff Family said...


Keri said...

poor Mama, I remember those days too. i think we all do as moms. its so hard when they are in control and there no way out till they get a little older in that first year. I know it easy to be soft with the youngest. youre not as feisty as you are with your first much more relaxed and roll with the punches,, i think those are all hiden blessings that help you cope with them as they get all older and it just seems to be more chaotic then before you continue to roll with the punches and relax a little more then before. its a true blessing that characteristic is...but I was also a fan of finding ways to let him be a baby in control but to also find my peace and time to sleep. i have an amazing book that i used with al three kids its my bible for mother hood. Its called " Healthy Sleep Habbits, Happy Child" by: Marc Weissbluth and another is an age by age Human Development books written by Louise Bates,Ph.D & Frances L. Ilg. MD I am currently reading the books about my 4/5 year old. its amazing. These are my two Mommy Bibles in life. no doubt. good luck and my only advice would be to try and not let him pacifying turn into routine then this lack of sleep will never resolve and he'll be stuck to your side in bed till hes 4, if you dont jump on it now while hes unaware it will be that much harder to stop. thats why i love that weissbluth book it helps you find other ways to sooth. see my older post.http://raisingnoblemen.blogspot.com/2008/07/spencers-2-months-old.html

good luck. you'll pull through just fine. ill keep you in my prayers.

Cinderella, the A-Train and Our Little Caboose said...

Good Luck! I hate being a human pacifier!! (but sometimes it's convenient too, haha) I am going to start weaning Noah soon I think...that will be my biggest challenge yet!

Abbie said...

With babies, it sometimes seems that you take two steps forward and one step backwards. Ryan has been sleeping worse recently also, I think mostly due to two ear infections turning into bad habits, and I am not even nursing anymore (I quit at 9 months). I have also not been great at knowing when a baby is eating or just pacifying, but this last time around if I paid attention to the swallowing noise I could usually tell. If you can hear him swallow, he is eating otherwise he is just pacifying. I never really enjoyed nursing too much either, and gave my baby a binki whenever they just wanted to suck and didn't need to eat (especially at night). Good luck. I always remind myself it won't last forever!


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